The Novel Gobbler

S.E. Hinton Speaks

2007-05-20T21:33:00.000-04:00

Vanity Fair snags a rare interview with S.E. Hinton, who has a new book called "Some of Tim's Stories."

NGHQ Takes the Bait

2007-05-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

Great American writers are being killed! Murdered! That's the gimmicky premise behind Robert Kaplow's new work of satire, Who's Killing the Great Writers of America?
NGHQ hates itself a little bit for falling into Mr. Kaplow's book-sized publicity trap, but we're also hoping that it's a fun read.

Victims include Tom Clancy, Sue Grafton, Curtis Sittenfeld, and Danielle Steel.

The book's celebrity murderer is . . . not happy about all this. Apparently his/her agent tried to stop publication, but to no avail. (Spoilers within)

Moment of Silence, Please

2007-05-19T14:08:00.000-04:00

This stinks.

Oprah Speaks, Books Turn to Pulp

2007-05-19T13:23:00.000-04:00

We here at the Novel Gobbler are rapidly becoming big fans of Danuta Kean, who writes here about environmental concerns in the publishing world. Specifically, she notes that:

The elephant in the room when it comes to publishing’s carbon footprint is not recycled paper, but the one area authors and publishers are equally reticent to mention: returns.

Ms. Kean's excellent piece was on the Gobbler's mind this morning when I watched back Bill Maher's HBO program from last night. Russel Simmons appeared on the show to plug his new book "Do You!," and in doing so spilled a remarkable tale of environmental waste. It went like this:

1. Russel Simmons shares an ARC of his book with Oprah;

2. Oprah tells him the title (which had something to do with "12 Steps to a Better You" or something along those lines) is stupid and should be "Do You!" instead.

3. R.S. immediately dials up his publisher, who is on the golf course (yeah, I know, this sounds like a parody, but it's not) and tells him of Oprah's comment.

4. Publisher immediately trashes the 150,000 copies of the book that had already been printed, so that they can go back and rename the book a la Oprah's suggestion.

NGHQ is not about to blame the publisher for this decision, considering that (a) Oprah was right about the title; and (b) it's generally a good idea to do anything that woman says. Still, this story is a pretty amazing tale of waste.

It Was the Best of Contests . . .

2007-05-18T01:11:00.000-04:00

Over at the Rap Sheet, crime author Jack Getze (Big Numbers) is offering $250 to the scribe who can come up with the best opening line for his forthcoming novel Big Money.

The first page or so (including the draft opener, with which Getze is unsatisfied) are on display to get you oriented. Cool idea.

Do Killer Year Authors Really Exist?

2007-05-18T00:27:00.000-04:00

Above: "Jason Pinter"

First the Novel Gobbler discovered that "Marcus Sakey," charter member of the Killer Year 2007 group of thriller writers, is actually American Idol alumnus Elliot Yamin, which was weird enough.

Now we find out this. Killer Year co-member "Jason Pinter" is actually . . .

Champion golfer Phil Mickelson!

Marcus Sakey's Secret Past

2007-05-17T13:38:00.000-04:00

Above: "Marcus Sakey"

I just realized that this guy is writing under a pen name.

I mean, if you were a prodigously talented thriller writer, would you really want people to know that you were a former American Idol contestant?

Is Actually Elliot Yamin!

The Future of Your Bookshelf

2007-05-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

Waterstone's has put out a list of the 25 writers most likely to be literary stars of the future.

The Novel Gobbler is most intrigued by the inclusion of Louise Welsh, one of the Scottish crime novelists that Gobbler HQ has not yet sampled. (Public service announcement: if you haven't jumped on the tartan noir train yet, pick up something by Denise Mina,Minette Walters, or Rankin -- these people are brilliant.)

We're putting Ms. Welsh's The Cutting Roomon our reading list.

Review: I Love You, Beth Cooper, by Larry Doyle

2007-05-17T01:43:00.000-04:00

Great shortstops make their position look easy. If you’re a baseball fan, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re not, you get my drift anyway (and, p.s., you’re missing out). The point is, great comic novelists make their very difficult task look easy, too.

After reading the seemingly effortless hysterics of I Love You, Beth Cooper,the Novel Gobbler is happy to announce that debut author Larry Doyle is indeed a great comic novelist. Following his success as a writer for television (“The Simpsons”) and magazines (humor pieces for The New Yorker), Doyle has now graduated to the novel form with “I Love Beth Cooper,” in which he acquits himself superbly. . . .

Read the full review at our sister site, The Biografiend.

Cornwell Fights Back

2007-05-15T12:37:00.000-04:00

Speaking with no knowledge of the situation whatsoever, the Novel Gobbler is highly skeptical of the claim that Patricia Cornwell ripped off a plot from another author.

Now she's suing for libel. This should be an interesting one to watch.

Gobbler Writing School: Bad Characters

2007-05-15T10:35:00.000-04:00

Bad characters are the best. Not evil characters -- bad ones.

You know, characters that you like even though they do bad things. They screw up. They shirk their responsibilities. They tell lies. They steal, cheat, smoke, and aren't very good listeners.

They are good people with huge imperfections. And it's those very imperfections that make them so real -- and so attractive. E.g.:

I absolutely love reading novels with bad characters in them.

Bad characters are also great fun to write. I'm writing one now; he's the main character in my next book, a thriller. But a funny thing is happening -- I keep making him "better." I find myself assuring the reader that this guy is not really so bad -- that he loves his dad and his girlfriend and that it wasn't really his fault when he got kicked out of school and etc. etc. etc.

In short, it takes a big commitment to write a bad character. You have to trust that the reader will see him or her like you do, sympathetically. And then, with that trust in mind, you have to show that character at their worst. All his foibles, all her failings -- lay them all bare.

If you lose that commitment, you get something like the recent movie Disturbia. In that film, the main character is a teenage boy whose father has died in a car crash. Since his father's death, the main character has -- supposedly -- become a serious problem child, and eventually gets sentenced to house arrest.

I say supposedly because the filmmakers lost, or maybe never had, their commitment to portraying a bad character. The only signifier viewers get that the boy has become a discipline problem is a wardrobe choice: after the dad's death, the film cuts to a "months later" shot of the kid, in class, wearing a sweatshirt with the hoodie pulled low over his eyes. Which is, I guess, the international symbol for juvenile deliquent.

The movie never shows the kid being bad. It shows him loving his mother, being a charming friend, and generally being a parent's dream. Even the event that sends him to house arrest -- when the kid punches his teacher -- is thoroughly justified by caustic remarks the teacher makes about the kid's dead father. I think the moviemakers got scared of making the kid too "bad," which is exactly what would have made him more compelling.

What are your favorite bad characters? If you write about bad characters, do you struggle with "committing" to their badness, as I am now? Or do you just revel in it?

Hedge Funds Come to Publishing

2007-05-15T10:21:00.000-04:00

People smarter than the Novel Gobbler about financial matters can tell you whether or not this is good news for publishing:

Publishers, especially independent publishers, have long felt that the content they publish has been undervalued by banks, and now one of the country’s largest financial institutions has agreed. One of New York’s major hedge funds—with several billion dollars in assets under its management—has formed a joint venture with National Book Network and its affiliated company, Rowman & Littlefield, that will provide a new source of financing for publishers.

The joint venture, Cooper Square Funding Corp., will provide loans to publishers based on the value of their sales and will also acquire companies.

Cooper Square isn't going to fund start up publishers. When I read this, I think about private equity firms buying up newspapers and, now, Chrysler--which feels scary in both cases.

Hopefully that is just paranoia on the Novel Gobbler's part. Please enlighten, erudite readers.

Unseemly?

2007-05-14T13:41:00.000-04:00

From Publishers Weekly:

Plume’s Cherise Davis has bought world rights to Roland Lazenby’s April 16: Heartbreak in Blacksburg from agent Matthew Carnicelli. Lazenby, a journalism professor at Virginia Tech, will use the perspective of students on campus, in particular his own journalism students who helped supply the mainstream media with information via their student-run Web site planetblacksburg.com, to provide context for the events and describe the recovery and resilience of the campus community.

My reaction: eeeesh.

This isn't the slimiest thing I've ever seen. Plume seems intent on avoiding an appearance that they are crassly cashing in on this human tragedy -- among other things, three of Lazenby's students are going to co-author the book.

Let me ask you something, though: do you think the big selling point of this project was the story of the "recovery and resilience of the campus community"? Call me jaded, but I don't.

Bestseller! Update

2007-05-14T11:10:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to report that the Gobbler seems to be attracting a very alert and plugged-in readership. Take a bow for yourselves.

Thanks to a reader tip that ITV had pulled Bestseller! from its planned July air date, the Gobbler has now gotten the story straight from Tony Cowell himself. According to Mr. Cowell, the series is being pushed back to the autumn to allow more time to gather entries from writers, and to have publishers read them.

Also, there are now plans to have two (rather than the previously reported one) "big name best-selling authors" on the judging panel for the show, which is now in pre-production.

Most importantly for those of us stateside, Mr. Cowell reports that he is still planning to pitch the idea to U.S. networks in June. And we at the Gobbler are still rooting for this one.

More updates on this as the Gobbler's news gathering merits . . .

Call Girl Lit: Addendum

2007-05-10T17:42:00.000-04:00

This from today's Independent:

Abigail is one of a growing number of Women with One Track Minds who are regaling their internet audience with eye-watering sexual tales, and being snapped up by publishers quicker than you can say "S&M".

Find the whole story here.

Call Girl Memoirs: Ethical?

2007-05-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

U.K. writer Danuta Kean is -- admirably -- raising tough ethical questions about "call girl lit."

What do you think when you see a title like this at Barnes & Noble? A bit of harmless titilation?

As Kean concedes, there is undoubtedly a population of high-priced call girls who undertake their occupation voluntarily and happily. But she also cites scary statistics -- such as, for instance, the fact that at least 75% of women in U.K. brothels have been illegally trafficked. That is not the side of the business you see in these "happy hooker" books, with covers that evoke your standard chick lit tales.

Are publishers doing something unethical in profiting from books like this? Do we, as readers, have some kind of ethical duty to avoid them?

I don't think these are easy questions. In any case, Ms. Kean should be priased for raising them.

Review: The Blade Itself

2007-05-09T23:51:00.000-04:00

As the Gobbler has said, this page aims to feature new fiction just coming onto your radar. We’re making a small exception here because of the impact this title has had. Indeed, one of the biggest splashes in the crime fiction category in 2007 has come courtesy of Markus Sakey’s “The Blade Itself.”

On to the review:

The members of “Killer Year 2007,” a group formed by thriller writers with debut novels coming out in 2007, should pat themselves on the back. Not only have they proven to be savants at self-promotion, but they have backed up their smart marketing scheme with their work. Each of the Killer Year books to come out so far has been solid, and some much better than that.

Marcus Sakey’s The Blade Itself has perhaps received the most notice, and not without reason. This very-high-concept, destined-for-the-big-screen thriller . . .

Read the rest of this review at our sister site, The Biografiend.

M.F.A. Programs: Like Culinary School?

2007-05-08T18:40:00.000-04:00

After reading this cautionary tale about prospects for cooking school alums, Gobbler HQ had a sobering thought: is this what happens to M.F.A. graduates?

Hopefully not. Tell the Gobbler your M.F.A. success stories.

Gobbler Writing School: Plotting by Fox TV

2007-05-08T16:53:00.000-04:00

Visitors to this site, the Gobbler is thinking, may tend to be aspiring writers. The Gobbler himself is a writer with a novel coming out next summer. (That is your first clue to the Gobbler's true identity, btw, and there may not be many others so mark it down.) Anyway, the Gobbler is tinkering with the idea of devoting one day a week to the craft of writing.

J.B. says: Do NOT disturb me when I'm writing

Our discussion for today relates to plotting. . . .

Read the full, first installment of Gobbler Writing School at our sister site, The Biografiend.

Off Topic II: This Takes Balls

2007-05-07T19:01:00.000-04:00

But you already knew Helen Mirren was a badass.

Enough digressions -- back to books tomorrow.

Tell me this can work!

2007-05-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

The Novel Gobbler is late to this party, but can't resist noting this tidbit:

Simon Cowell's brother has created a reality show for aspiring novelists called "Bestsellers" (or possibly "Publish My Book," depending on whom you rely for your third-hand reality television news updates). Apparently, it is going to air on ITV in England beginning on July 1, 2007, and will later appear on one of the Sky Channels.

The judges are Tony Cowell (Simon's brother, author, journalist), Ali Gunn (literarry agent with no relation to Tim Gunn that I can discern, although though that would rock), and an unnamed bestselling author.

Based on the entirely unreliable information that I have found on the internet, Tony Cowell is going to pitch it in the U.S. while the show is running this summer in the U.K.

It's got to be a challenge to dramatize a competition like this -- you can only film someone sweating at their computers for so long. But I put nothing past a Cowell when it comes to success in television, and I pray to God that this gets picked up in the U.S. In the interviews I read, Cowell says the show is going to give people an inside look at the industry and show how hard it is for first-time authors to break into publishing. A great angle for the show, I think -- and much more promising than endless flopsweat-on-keyboard shots.

Three questions:

1) What U.S. agent and/or bestseller would you most like to see judging an American version of "Bestsellers"? (Somebody sign Miss Snark up for this now)

2) Can this work?

3) Two parter: (a) do you have access to ITV, whatever that is?, and (b) are you willing to blog this show for the Gobbler? If yes to both, get in touch asap!

[Updated Bestseller! news here]

Off Topic

2007-05-07T17:33:00.000-04:00

The Gobbler apologizes in advance for veering off topic.

You may be interested to know, however, that one of the Gobbler's favorite writers working today is . . . a screenwriter. Obviously, I'm talking about Charlie Kaufman. You know, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, etc. etc. If you want an object lesson in how subplots should function within a narrative, watch that flick about five times with a close eye trained on the Kirsten Dunst-Tom Wilkinson relationship. The way the Dunst-Wilkinson story refracts against the main plotline is a thing of pure genius.

Mr. Kaufman is also dear to the Gobbler's heart because he produced a radio play called "Hope Leaves the Theater," a staged reading of which the Gobbler caught in New York. When Nicole Kidman, half the cast of the Sopranos, and sundry other high-wattage celebs showed up in attendance at the small theater where it was playing, the Gobbler felt like he had the best taste in the world. The Gobbler, you should know, is pretty shallow.

Anyway, Gobbler HQ has just discovered the long-public information that Mr. Kaufman has written a new script called "Synecdoche, New York," which he himself is set to direct with shooting beginning later this month (according to my fourth-hand internet sources, anyway). Those as taken with Mr. Kaufman's work as the Gobbler is can find review of the script if you scroll down a bit at this site.

In other movie news, apparently Peter Jackson is making The Lovely Bones, with a script by himself and his Lord of the Rings writing partner. I don't know . . . I can't get too excited about this one for some reason.

Dept. of WTF: Crafty Time Magazine Writing Staff

2007-05-05T18:55:00.000-04:00

Who are the most influential novelists around today? Off the top of your head, who comes to mind?

Ian McEwan?

Zadie Smith?

Philip Roth?

Dave Eggers?

Whoever you thought of, they were probably authors pushing the boundaries of the narrative form or making readers see society in new, important ways.

But you don't have to struggle with the question anyway because Time Magazine has just released its list of the 100 most influential people, and it includes two novelists. Who made the cut?

First up, David Mitchell, author of Cloud Atlas and, umm, a fine choice (i.e., I've never read him and therefore have nothing insightful to say here).

Who was the second most influential novelist? The second most influential practitioner of the literary arts today? Yes, it's -- wait for it -- it's . . .

Nora Roberts.

WTF? Nora Roberts? Nora Roberts!?

Hey, I'm all for the unexpected choices in meaningless lists like this one, which the editors and writers undoubtedly tire of putting out year after year but nonetheless have to because it gets them a guaranteed three minute segment on AC 360 or whatever.

But . . . Nora Roberts?

It's like the "Arts & Entertainers" choices got dumped on a assistant editor who loathes the "Most Influential" issue so much that he decided to pick Nora Roberts as his way of giving the middle finger to his higher-ups, who apparently are too lazy/culturally illiterate/resentful of the issue themselves to demand a revised choice. (This, undoubtedly, is also how "You" became the person of the year.)

Look, I'm down with calling a writer "influential" due in part to their popular success. But if you're going that route, at least pick someone like J.K. Rowling. She gets a ton of kids and adults reading, and her books get discussed like mad all around the world. Or, better yet, pick James friggin' Patterson for his new and possibly influential -- shudder to think it, but yes, possibly influential -- assembly-line approach to writing commercial fiction. Someone who is, you know, influential.

Anyway, so then these pissed off Time writers come up with the idea of having celebrity-types do the little profiles of the "most influential" people, so they don't even have to bother. God they must really hate this issue. It's a genius idea from their perspective. It's bad news for subscribers, though, who actually have to read what these celebrity-types -- or, more likely, their publicists -- write.

Let's just say that they aren't Time magazine reporters, and there's a reason. Most of the copy is simply lifeless and cliched. But this more, ummm, colorful -- yeah, colorful -- snippet from a profile of Kara Walker was my favorite:

Artists are vigilant. But it's not the vigilance of surveillance. They don't dictate what is worn, thought, spoken and dreamed. Instead, theirs is a vigilance fueled by a heady mix of doubt, disbelief and hope. Few have managed to capture the collision between past and present, between histories and horror stories, between sexuality and shame, between skin and meat, as powerfully and provocatively as Kara Walker, 37.

Walker's vigilance has produced a compelling reckoning with the twisted trajectories of race in America. Her installations and films forcefully pluralize our notion of a singular "history." . . . She revels in cruelty and laughter. Platitudes sicken her. She is brave. Her silhouettes throw themselves against the wall and don't blink.

No, you're right, most of that does not make sense.

And yes, you can now add the "collision between skin and meat" to the "Novel Gobbler" as things that sound dirty but aren't.

Our New Mascot

2007-05-04T09:01:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of www.teacherfiles.com

Review: The Two Minute Rule

2007-05-04T01:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, Gobbler HQ now has its act together on how reviews will be presented. We're putting the first graph or two of each review up on the Gobbler, with a link to the full review on our esteemed sister site, Biografiend.

Gobbler HQ is thinking that it would prefer to focus its reviews on fresh new books and select gems from the past. And to be honest with you, The Two Minute Rule doesn't really fit either of these categories. But we're just getting our sea legs here at Gobbler HQ and this bit of serious criticism was already in the pipeline and ready to go.

With no further ado, a review of Robert Crais's The Two Minute Rule:

When you sit down to a Robert Crais novel, you are expecting to partake in the filet mignon of crime fiction. And when you close the back cover on “The Two Minute Rule,” you’ll be plenty satisfied. You might not even notice that it was a little undercooked.

Crais became a brand name among mystery readers through his inspired novels about private investigator Elvis Cole. The impossibly suave Cole ferrets out L.A.-based whodunits—which sometimes detour into Hollywood, where Crais began as a television writer—with winking charm and less sociable skills honed as an Army Ranger in Vietnam. This background has served Elvis well in the many quasi-military operations (manhunts, confrontations at criminal hideouts, etc.) Crais has designed for him over the course of his series. . . .

. . . Read the full review at The Biografiend!

Laura Lippman: Dirty Woman?

2007-05-03T22:33:00.000-04:00

The Gobbler happened to be in the vicinity of a talk given by Laura Lippman tonight, in which she revealed the fact that she had an insatiable appetite for dirty books as a girl. No joke.

Unfortunately, as wonderfully naughty as this sounds, apparently the James Bond novels qualified as smut in the mind of the the young Laura Lippman. So, perhaps she's not quite as deviant as you originally suspected. Perhaps.

It was a great talk. The engaging Ms. Lippman spoke about, among other things, how she deals with violent content in her novels. She had an interesting take, I thought -- but maybe I was just drawn to the topic because I had just touched on it in my review of Sharp Objects.

Bigger thoughts on the violence issue pending . . .

The Gobbler Assigns No Blame

2007-05-03T16:14:00.000-04:00

The fine people at Galleycat have taken note of our humble internet shop, and for that we are most thankful.

G-Cat says that the Novel Gobbler has "indirectly blamed" them for this site's existence, and, well, the title of this post notwithstanding, that's basically right. When I read G-Cat's account of the comments -- you might call them snooty comments -- of a Washington Post book commentator, in which that commentator extolled the virtues of print reviews while lambasting internet critics with a rather too-broad brush and using the imaginery internet sites NovelGobbler and Biografiend as foils, well, that was simply too much for this mischeviously inclined member of the literary fringe to resist.

But the Novel Gobbler does resist the concept of blame, so Gobbler HQ would prefer to formally acknowledge G-Cat for the impetus that they provided for this site, which they are free to disown at any time. Which they probably will, if they are the intelligent people they appear to be.

G-Cat is not the only one to be acknowledged, however. With this post, Gobbler HQ also formally recognizes the true brainchild of this enterprise, whose (overblown? you decide) ranting is our true inspiration.

This patron saint of Novel Gobblers across the globe decried sass, vulgarity, and other internet-borne illnesses, and Gobbler HQ is doing its best to keep those to a minimum. Although, to be honest, it may be difficult to resist temptation. One commentor, who runs a splendid book site, has already pleaded with Gobbler HQ to "stir things up!" -- presumably with healthy doses of sass, etc. (N.B.: we have taken your request under serious consideration, sir.)

Now, it is interesting to note that the author of this call to internet-style stirrage is also one of our patron saint's very own colleagues within the National Book Critics Circle (on whose very internet site the patron saint's original comments, lamenting such stirrage, were posted). Now wait . . . just . . . one . . . moment. I've got to wrap my head around this.

It's almost as if the worlds of internet and print are not two entirely different things. It's almost as if some critics contribute to both of these writing venues. It's almost as if one can enjoy both of these allegedly diametrically opposed worlds that are allegedly antithetical to each other.

Ooops. Gobbler HQ may have just violated its promise not to get into this matter any further. Please stay tuned -- we will effort to get back on track with a visit with Laura Lippman this evening.

Turkey Talk (aka Suggestion Box)

2007-05-03T09:30:00.000-04:00

We've just cut the ribbon on this Novel Gobbler thing, and we would be remiss if we did not solicit your guidance.

Using the comment do-dad, let Gobbler HQ know:

1) What type of content you would like to see here (keeping in mind, of course, our lofty mission statement);

2) Any specific burning -- or not really burning but all up in your craw for some reason -- book-type issues that you would like to see discussed;

3) Your thoughts on why so many Scottish writers rock (contrary views will not see the light of day here, as they are objectively incorrect) and whether or not Denise Mina would consider marrying me;

4) The Road: Overrated?; and/or

5) Best Blurb Ever

Also, please feel free to send your own reviews and rantings (not overblown) to novelgobbler@gmail.com for my perusal and possible publication.

(Note that the Gobbler's first-ever review, of Gillian Flynn's Sharp Objects appears at the right. The layout is not exactly satisfactory and may change, depending on my blogspotting skills, in the future; for now, reviews shall be simultaneously posted our sister site, The Biografiend.)

The Origin Story and Mission Statement of Your Humble Novel Gobbler

2007-05-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

Gobble gobble. Thank you for your attention.

Amidst the recent burst of hand wringing and brow scratching over the shrinking of book reviews in print publications -- a troublesome development indeed -- an ancillary and much more silly kerfuffle has broken out. It deals with the relative merit of book coverage in newspapers vs. blogs.

In an April 25, 2007 post on Critical Mass, a blog of the National Book Critics Circle Board of Directors, a literary commentator from the Washington Post made the following statement (quote discovered via Galleycat):

[T]he dirty little secret of the internet is "Littera scripta manet"--the written word survives. A book is real, whereas cyberspace is just keystrokes--quickly scribbled and quickly forgotten. . . . If you were an author, would you want your book reviewed in The Washington Post and The New York Review of Books--or on a website written by someone who uses the moniker NovelGobbler or Biografiend? The book review section, whether of a newspaper or a magazine,remains the forum where new titles are taken seriously as works of art and argument, and not merely as opportunities for shallow grandstanding and overblown ranting, all too often by kids hoping to be noticed for their sass and vulgarity. Should we allow our culture to descend to this playground level of discourse?

Now, this heated and unqualified indictment of literary blogs, we remind you, was written in a literary blog.

But our aim at the Novel Gobbler is not to inflame debate. Especially a debate over the relative worth of book reviews found in newspapers and blogs, which we believe to be:

(a) boring,

(b) premised on an irrational, needless exercise in pitting two worthy outlets for literary discussion in opposition to each other, largely via gross generalizations, and

(c) pleasing to no one except, perhaps, the participants in the debate who like to hear themselves talk.

Instead, we see the comments above as a friendly challenge and an opportunity. Here, we aim to showcase fine criticism that takes books "seriously as works of art and argument," in, yes, an internet venue.

Criticism will be provided by yours truly at Gobbler HQ -- and, we hope, other kids who would like to contribute excellent reviews or other book-related commentary.

In keeping with the name that has been bestowed to us, we may show a preference for novels meant to be gobbled -- those with thick, rich, delectable plots.

As for submissions, be warned that shallow grandstaning, overblown ranting, sass, and vulgarity will not be tolerated. Not much anyway.

Sass and vulgarity do have their place on the internet, after all.

Thank you,
N.G.